


Not Exactly a Death Wish

by Eratoschild



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Aftermath of Fuck or Die, Dubcon because sex pollen, Fuck Or Die, M/M, Malcolm and Trip are strictly platonic here, Sex Pollen, brief moment of Trip/T'pol, mild biphobia as backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:06:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27189073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eratoschild/pseuds/Eratoschild
Summary: The situation was far more complicated the next time it happened to him, what with feelings getting involved and all. On the other hand, one Major Hayes seemed to be the one to find it uncomplicated this time.
Relationships: J. Hayes/Malcolm Reed, Malcolm Reed/Charles "Trip" Tucker III
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26
Collections: Shipoween 2020 - The Halloween Ship Exchange!





	Not Exactly a Death Wish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TiaNaut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiaNaut/gifts).



> To anyone who caught this before I posted the proper file...I am sorry, and wow that was embarassing!
> 
> To TiaNaut: Well, I've ben wanting to write both Malcolm/Trip and Malcolm/Hayes for a while, I never expected I would end up putting them in the same fic but your prompts gave me this idea and it was a lot of fun to write. I hope you enjoy!

The first time he found himself in this predicament, it was quite easy to deal with, really, though Phlox did make the situation a bit more awkward than need be. Trip, on the other hand, would have disagreed with that assessment.

“Ah, it seems you two have encountered some Amorosian peace dust,” Phlox had informed them with perhaps a slightly too cheerful laugh. “It will be interesting to observe its effects on humans.”

“Interesting?” Malcolm echoed. Having just returned from gathering data on the mineral content of an asteroid, he and Trip had found themselves suddenly and inexplicably…in a bit of a state, each somehow sensing that the other also was in the same predicament. Agreeing that this didn’t see like a normal case of “just feeling a little frisky” as Trip put it, when the situation had not waned after a short time they agreed, albeit with some reticence, to consult Phlox. 

“You’re taking this a lot better than I would have expected,” Trip commented perhaps half an hour later, his own voice clear with unease at what they’d been informed by Phlox who had immediately rushed back to his lab and started running a computer simulation to attempt to predict the effects of this, as he had called it, peace dust. “I’ve observed it on several species but none with physiology similar enough to humans to give me an idea of what to expect.” Fifteen minutes later, he’d returned with some predictions, which were slowly stating to prove accurate.

“Trip, the solution is clear and simple, there’s nothing to get upset about,” Malcolm shrugged, “I consider myself a pragmatist. Phlox says that his computer simulation shows no way around this and I have no wish to die. Unless I am mistaken, you don’t wish to either. Now, you are an engineer, I assume you are at least familiar with the mechanics of what must be done.”

“I’m straight, Malcolm, not a clueless virgin,” Trip countered with a roll of his eyes.

“Then I don’t see the issue.”

“I don’t want to die, but I’ve never done it with…a guy,” he winced.

“Well then, let me ask you this. Would you rather, well would you rather fuck or be fucked?”

Trip flinched. “Language, Malcolm?”

“Bugger language. You’d think I’ve never heard the way you talk when things go the slightest bit wrong in engineering.”

“This is different. It’s…a personal situation.”

“We don’t have a lot of time to bat this around.” Malcolm informed him with increased anxiety in his voice. “Do you think it would be easier for you one way or the other, I am more than able to accommodate either way, but from what Phlox tells us- and the way 'm feeling at the moment, we shouldn’t wait.”

“I feel fine,” Trip protested. Just a little too…you know. But reciting water polo statistics in my head isn’t making it go away like it usually does.”

Having watched their conversation, clearly amused, Phlox cut in, ”And if the simulations I’m running are anything to go by, you’ll feel mostly fine until it’s almost too late, and the longer you wait, the more likely you will need to do the deed more than once to clear this from your system. From what I gather, that is not a desired course of action. Now, like I said this is the first time I’ve had the chance to observe the effects on Amorosian Peace Dust on human physiology and it’s just fascinating. I’m so excited to have stumbled upon this opportunity! It seems quite different from the effect on Denobulans where in most cases the effect is simply of a mild aphrodisiac and the affected individual can, if they so choose, ah, take matters into their own hands though some young, adventurous sorts-“

“”Doc,” Trip cut in, “That’s…really interesting but you’re telling us that we’re running out of time here- wait, you said..take matters into their own hands, so we could, um, instead of…um…”

“I’m afraid the computer simulations indicating otherwise. You could try, but that may well make matters worse. The computer is showing me that in human physiology, when two people are exposed to the dust at the same time, it creates a pheromone reaction that will escalate the physical condition unless the affected individuals are to couple with each other.”

“Do I want to know what happens if more than two people are exposed at once?” Trip muttered.

“Well, as urgent is the situation is for you two, I have limited the simulation to two but if you want to know more, I will be more than happy to run further simulations and inform you of my findings.” 

“We can worry abut that later, Doctor,” Malcolm replied. Though it occurs to me that you have yet to inform us what exactly will happen if we do not, ah, resolve this in the prescribed manner.”

“Oh, well I’m afraid the condition would become deadly. It seems that it could take several hours, in which the arousal will slowly increase in severity and as time passes, your blood pressure will begin to steeply elevate as well. After a certain point, the stress of the sexual act itself would prove fatal. Oh, but don’t look at me like that. The world isn’t ending. You two are nowhere near point of being unable to clear this up. Why not just do what is necessary and call it a day?”

“We really don’t have a choice?” Trip tried.

“Technically you do,” Phlox corrected him, though his manner took on a slightly more sympathetic tone. “But the alternative is rather dire, don’t you think?”

“I for one do not wish to die,” Malcolm declared. “Can we please get on with it?”

“That’s the spirit!” Phlox praised, his voice hearty once more

“What about T’pol? I can’t cheat on her,” panic was rising in Trip’s voice now. 

“All right let’s call her in here and explain the situation, I’m sure she’ll understand,” Malcolm replied quickly, knowing that this would be a major dilemma for Trip, but a question of mere logic for T’pol. The sooner out of the way, the sooner they could prevent their deaths.

“If the choice is to resolve the condition brought on by this peace dust as Phlox has told you by copulating with one another, or die, then I think the logic is clear,” T’pol pronounced with barely a pause once the situation was explained. “I do not wish you to die, and even beyond my own wishes, it would be irresponsible to leave the crew without a Chief Engineer, would it not?”

“I suppose when you put it that way…” Trip rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably as T’pol fixed him with her hard stare. 

“Proceed then. If you makes you feel any better, I believe the human sentiment is you have my blessing."

“Well, that settles that question,” Phlox beamed as she turned on her heel and left sick bay without another word. 

Trip sighed apparently resigning himself to the necessary course of action.“I don’t know Mal, you’re the one who apparently has experience with this – and don’t you think for a second that I won’t have questions for you later.”

“All right, gentlemen. I know this is a bit of a delicate matter for humans, but now that we’ve settled on doing what must be done, I am going to need to have you use the decontamination chamber.”

“Excuse me?” Malcolm nearly sputtered. “Can we not at least be afforded the privacy of one of our quarters?”

“It’s a snap to make sure that the room is fully private. Remember we have covers for the glass. And while there has been no cause to do so before, I can seal off the room to all sound transmissions, in and out.”

“Why does it have to be here?” Trip demanded. 

“Well, computer simulations only predict what is likely. So far it seems to be accurate but what if it’s not? If anything unpredicted were to happen I don’t want to have you too far away and out of communication.”

“We were in sealed space suits…how did we even get to this point?” Trip lamented. 

“It seems that it go on the outside of your suits and exposure took place once you took them off and handled the contaminated suits. I’ve already taken the necessary steps to have them quarantined until they can be decontaminated.

“Are you sure the Doc covered those windows?” Trip asked for the hundredth time it seemed, as Malcolm undressed.

“I can’t see anything in the sickbay so I’m sure they’re covered,” Malcolm replied, removing his shorts, now fully naked. 

“Alright, Mal,” Trip replied with a resigned sigh. “I’m stripped down, what do we do?”

Putting a partner at ease was not Malcolm’s forte. He reminded himself yet again that this was for the sake of their very lives.

“You’re sure this decontamination gel is safe to use as lubricant?” Trip fretted. Looking at the tube.

“I trust Phlox,” Malcolm replied, having no idea what to say otherwise, and no reason to have tried it before. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Trip sighed. “Let’s get this over with I guess.”

“Gee, Mal,” Trip commented a few days after the fact, the first they’d spoken since it happened, “You’re still taking this a lot better than I’d have expected.”

“As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing really to _take_ ,” was Malcolm’s simple reply. 

“You don’t think…,” Trip trailed off, glanced around to ensure no one was close enough to hear. “You don’t think the fact that we had sex is a thing to take seriously?”

“Well, I mean it’s...it’s past. At the time, certainly It was a matter of life or death. But now?” He shrugged. “It’s just that, it’s past. Nothing has changed between us. Has it?”

“I don’t know Mal. I don’t want anything to be different but maybe it is? I don’t know.”

“What has to be different? We did what was necessary to keep each other alive and that’s all it was.” Why was this so difficult for Trip? 

“I didn’t even know that you- I thought you were- I didn’t know that you…liked…”

“That I’ve fucked men?"

“Yeah, I mean all those ex girlfriends you have?”

“Mr. Tucker, are you to tell me that you can’t grasp the concept of bisexuality?” Malcolm had a hard time believing this, but Trips words suggested otherwise.

“Of course I can Mal. You’ve just never said anything.”

“Then you’ll understand that those former girlfriends don’t mean that I could never have had anything to do with men.”

“Ah yeah, I guess so,” Trip replied, not quite meeting his eyes.

“Look, when you grow up in the household I did, you learn when to keep your mouth shut.”

Trip gave him an incredulous look. “Your family had a problem with it?” 

“Oh they would- or my father would at if he knew. He used to say there’s no excuse for it and at least the homosexuals could say they didn’t have a choice in the matter. I don’t know what my mother would think. Madeleine is all right with it at least. I told her just before we left.”

“I still don’t understand how you’ve been so calm about it the whole time. I mean, we…and then you just did that British “pip pip cary on!” act like it was nothing.

“Well…I guess it’s just not that difficult for me when there are no feelings to get tangled up. It was a lifesaving measure, like mouth to mouth would be if you weren’t breathing.”  


“No feelings, huh?” Was it just his imagination or did Trip seem almost disappointed with the way the corners of his lips turned down slightly and his forehead creased.

“Well, I mean you’re my friend, and I didn’t want you to die,” Malcolm assured him. “There are those feelings. But if you mean romantic feelings? No Trip, I don’t feel that way about you,” he concluded, not quite able to look Trip in the eye as talk skirted too close to the subject of emotions for comfort, though he noticed that Trip did seem to look rather relieved at his words. Hopefully, the matter was now resolved.

The situation was far more complicated the next time it happened to him, what with feelings getting involved and all. On the other hand, one Major Hayes seemed to be the one to find it uncomplicated this time.

“I wish neither to fuck you nor be fucked by you,” Malcolm bit off, glowering at the man with whom he’d had the misfortune of being caught in a field of the dust. If it had to happen a second time, why could it not have just been Trip again? He still had no particular wish to fuck his friend but at least he knew that they could get it over with relatively unscathed.

“So you want to die,” Major Hayes scoffed.

“I’ve no wish to die, Major,” (though in the hierarchy of things he didn’t want, death was far less unmerited than anything even remotely in the vicinity of admitting that he wanted Hayes) “but perhaps we could give Phlox an hour to concoct a cure – “

“Lieutenant, am I mistaken in my understanding that you found yourself in this predicament once before, several months ago?”

“You are not.”

“And was Phlox able to find a cure then?”

“I don’t believe he tried then,” he replied, his jaw tightening. Why did it feel like his physical condition was escalating more rapidly this time?”

“And has he since found one?”

“Well, we haven’t asked yet, have we?”

“Fine. Ask him. But do you have cause to believe he’s even had any reason to even think about it since then?”

“I don’t know. He has a lot of wild experiments going on in sick bay. I don’t usually inquire about them.” Malcolm was loathe to admit, even within the silence of his own mind, that Hayes was surely correct, so he insisted on asking, as unbearable as the ache in his groin had already grown. Inevitably, Phlox had in fact not devised a cure. “You’re going to have to solve this the old fashioned way,” he informed them, entirely too gleeful at the idea. Aren’t you glad the decontamination chamber is not in use?”

“How fortunate,” Malcolm spit out as Phlox handed him an all too familiar tube of gel.

“I believe you know what to do with this then. And Major Hayes, do I need to brief you?”

“No. Thank you, doctor.”

“All right, well I’ve already prepared the coverings for the glass and settle sound proofing. And you’re very welcome.” Phlox laughed as he made his way back to whatever creature he had been attending when they interrupted him.

In the chamber, Malcolm sat on a bench, staring blankly ahead. How could he have gotten into this situation? Again? It was one thing when it was a friend, someone he had no problem with, no attachments or hang-ups. This was something completely different. 

“Look, if it it’s any consolation, I really don’t want to do this either…not under these circumstances anyway.”

“Well isn’t that just nice?” Malcolm grumbled. “I don’t want to fuck you. You don’t want to fuck me – wait – “ he shook his head. “Under these circumstances? What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“Exactly what I said. I don’t want to do this under these circumstances. Here, now, where we don’t have a choice, at least we don’t if we don’t want to die – “

“Are you saying – “

“What I’m saying is that all this time I’ve been trying to tell you, but you wouldn’t damn well listen, I don’t want your job. I want you, all right?”

“ You…want _me_ …?”

“Did I stutter? We are speaking the same language aren’t we?”

“I heard you just fine.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing at all,” Malcolm snapped.

“Look, all I was ever doing was my part to try to protect the ship and crew – that includes you, you know – and maybe I was stupid to think that I could get to know you better, since our professional duties line up, it might have been something I could use to get closer to you but if you’re not interested, then fine. But can we please just get this over with so we don’t die? You can keep your grudge or whatever you want to do for the rest of your life and I’ll get over it for all I care right now.”

He couldn’t take it anymore, he just couldn’t. Malcolm could feel his blood pressure rising. His arousal was far too painful at this point. He didn’t want to die and all of this information was just too much to process. He curled his hand around the back of Haye’s head and pulled him close, their mouths colliding almost painfully but he didn’t care.

Hayes pulled back enough to speak. “Hey, what – “

“We’re going to die, right, if we don’t – “

“Yeah.”

“And neither of us want to die.”

“Yeah.”

“Look, there’s not really any time to think about it anymore. Just fuck me and we’ll get the rest of it sorted later.”

“You’re sure?”

“Oh don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now.”

“No but – “

“But bloody nothing,” he bit out as he started to pull off his clothing, nearing desperation. “We’re doing this.”

“I guess I don’t have a say – “

“We never had a say. _Strip_.”

“I meant have a say in…you know, who…which of us…”

“Fine. Would you rather I fucked you? Look, I can feel this getting worse. Much worse and much more quickly than before. How are you so calm?”

“I don’t know. You’re smaller, you might be metabolizing it more quickly. Or maybe it reacts after if you’ve been exposed before? It’s pretty bad for me but let’s just- okay, fine whatever. Like you said we can figure it out later.” As Hayes spoke, he began removing his uniform. Malcolm made no attempt to hide his blatant ogling as Hayes discarded his jacket, the remaining brown undershirt clinging to every dip and contour of his hard-trained form. He groaned and began shedding his own jumpsuit. 

“Or maybe it just needed a minute to catch up to me,” Hayes grunted as he kicked the last of his clothing across the floor. “I really can’t take this anymore.”

There was no time for niceties. Only seconds later, Malcolm felt himself slammed almost face-first to the wall, barely managing to get his hands out and catch himself.Then came the invasive sensation of a cold substance between his cheeks. 

“Sorry I couldn’t take you out to dinner or at least buy you a drink first,” Hayes muttered.

“Just make sure we don’t die. Use plenty of the gel and it’ll be fine. You can bring me flowers later.” He closed his eyes and took a long breath, spread his legs slightly further as the head of Hayes’s cock prodded between his cheeks. “Just do it already. Don’t worry about being gent - oh dear heavens finally,” he gasped, eyes watering as Hayes took hold of his hip with one hand and wrapped his other arm around his waist, tightly enough that Malcolm wondered if his ribs wold bruise but decided he didn’t care if it meant relief. Not a second later, Hayes thrust sharply into him. Another thrust and there were teeth sinking into his shoulder. That too was going to leave a mark but now was not the time to fuss about that. It seemed a matter of only a few more thrusts and jerks before each found nearly violent release, one just seconds behind the other. Malcolm sagged against the wall, harsh gulping air. Once more, he wasn't going to die. He turned around, slowly, to see Hayes sitting on the bench, looking a bit worse for the wear but also alive and, it seemed, sated.

It was out of their system. Clear. They weren’t at risk of death. And it hit him. Bloody hell what had they done? What had he said?

Unfortunately, he remembered it all too clearly. The dust had no effect on memory. Malcolm quickly put on his clothing, not even bothering to clean himself off. He could deal with that back in his quarters. 

“Right then. We’re not going to die. Thank you Major,” he gave a brief nod and ran from the room, barely taking the time to try to avoid fully exposing the still dressing and thoroughly baffled Hayes to the population of sick bay, not listening to the words being shouted after him as he fled. 

“You know you can’t avoid me forever.”

“I’m not avoiding you, I can’t help it if you’re not in the same places I am at the same time I am.”

“Don’t even try that with me. Do you think I haven’t seen you start down a corridor only to turn tail when you realize that I’m at the other end? Do you think I haven’t noticed that you’ve suddenly rearranged all your shifts? That others are running interference for you whenever I try to get anywhere near you? I thought we cleared this up, Lieutenant?

I’m not trying to avoid you. No one is running interference, you just keep trying to talk to me at bad times and the captain is the one who rearranged my schedule. _Though I did thank him for it._

“If all of this is just a coincidence, then why haven’t you made any effort to talk to me even once after what happened?” Hayes demanded.

What could he say? Though he hadn’t been actively avoiding the man, he certainly hadn’t tried to talk to him either. What was he supposed to do when he’d just spent…how long? Thinking the man was after his job and now come to find that it was he himself that Hayes was after all along and he wouldn’t even stop and listen to him for five seconds. He closed his eyes, heaving a breath. What was he supposed to say? 

Before he had a chance to actually think though, his back was suddenly colliding with the wall behind him, strong hands whose grip had left marks still visible on his hips now pinned his wrists and a mouth just as hot and desperate as he remembered on his once again. Again, he sagged against the wall, groaning into the kiss.

When they had to break for air, Hayes pulled back. “Do you even feel anything right now?” He asked, his voice sardonic.

Did he feel- hell, his whole body felt that. Mutely, he nodded. Once more, Hayes was devouring him, and he was giving back as good as he was getting. Dear god, he resolved that he would face all of the embarrassment that space could contain if only he didn’t have to stop experiencing that kiss. Malcolm pulled him even closer, groaned as Hayes ground against him, an arousal that had absolutely nothing to do with any alien dust threatening his self control.

It was a struggle, that was for certain. He had to wrestle desperately with his own mind to accept it. He wasn’t at home, he wasn’t among his family, but the ship’s crew. They’d been exposed to all manner of alien cultures and concepts. 

Air, he needed air. Turning his head slightly to break the kiss, he inhaled deeply. Once, twice, as Hayes watched him, his eyes questioning but otherwise unreadable. “Look,” Malcolm finally spoke. “There are some things I need to work out. Do you think we could at least keep this quiet to begin with?”


End file.
